


miraculous lady. no bug. shes just rlly pretty

by solravens



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Miraculous Ladybug AU, bc theres not enough wlw fics out there, ft. badly written akuma scene, guardian!asra, i couldnt be assed thinking of a name for akumatised navra, idk how his ghost got to use a miraculous but, in any miraculous fashion, nadia as ladybug ad portia as chat noir!!!, nadia is way too fucking whipped for her handmaiden, nadia wants to hold portias hand!, painfully ironic love square, portia is way too fuckin whipped for someone she doesnt know the real identity of, shhh this is a wlw fic not a lucio fic, whats important is the GAY, wholesome lesbians, yes lucio is goat moth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22172305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solravens/pseuds/solravens
Summary: The Arcana in a Miraculous Ladybug AU where Countess Nadia, who's fallen for her handmaiden Portia, is also Lady Luck, a ladybug supheroine that saves Vesuvia from the stupid Goat Moth trying to help Lucio come back by akumatising villains to get the Ladybug and Black cat Miraculous. Only, the Black Cat Miraculous is in the hands of none other than Portia, who doesn't see her boss as a viable love interest and instead fell for her partner in fighting crime, Lady Luck.Gay ensues.
Relationships: Portia Devorak/Nadia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	miraculous lady. no bug. shes just rlly pretty

**Author's Note:**

> its like half past the asscrack of midnight but i knew if i didnt write this now i never would so FUCK i just sat down and did it in a few hours. its not proofread so i apologise if it feels rushed. uhhh enjoy the wholesome lesbians? i also couldnt htink of a title so there u go

The Miraculous was something even magicians hardly knew of.

Asra was the first person Nadia went to when a mysterious box wound up in her satchel after wandering through the streets in disguise once day. Surely, her most trusted magician friend and his apprentice would be able to give her some information on what this “Miraculous” jewellery is?

Although Chandra, the little ladybug-like creature that magically appeared when she opened the tiny box and found spotted earrings that called herself a “kwami”, warned her with dire urgency that she _must_ not tell anyone she’s in possession of a Miraculous, so she tread carefully. Some fickle lie about finding a book about it in the old castle library, asking if he’s heard of any such thing.

The non-binary magician seemed ecstatic that she mentioned it, she didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up despite his relatively neutral expression, and how he ever so calmly but with hints of excitement explained that they were myths not many heard of these days, as the Miraculous hadn’t been seen for years. Nadia later discovered that Asra was the Guardian of the Miraculous, tasked with keeping them safe.

Only, he couldn’t.

The butterfly and peacock Miraculous both had gone missing, and Asra had entrusted Nadia with the Ladybug Miraculous to keep Vesuvia safe.

“If anyone could keep Vesuvia safe, it’d be our dearest Countess.”

 _If only Asra realised that your_ dearest _Countess was a very busy woman,_ she grumbled internally, swinging through her gigantic, floor-length bedroom window with a hushed “Chandra, spots off!” just in time to detransform when there was a knock on her door.

“Yes Pontifex, please do come in,” she announced, taking a seat on the edge of her bed, trying her best not to look like she was far too close to ripping a skull out. It was lucky for her that she was beyond used to masking her emotions, particularly in front of the courtiers. Professionalism, she called it. Testing her own patience to see how long it took before she snapped and slapped someone would be more accurate.

The Pontifex strolled in, her usual malicious grin on her face.

“Countess, yes, yes, COUNTESS!” She bellowed, clenching her fist tightly, to which Nadia only sighed.

“Pontifex Vulgora, your volume. I can hear you just fine from here, no need to yell.”

“I AM NOT YELLING!” She roared, “I HAVE NEVER YELLED IN MY LIFE!”

The Countess sighed once again. It was going to be a long evening.

“ANYWAYS, it has come to our- er, my- attention, that their might be something… _fishy_ going on in the palace. Specifically involving your favourite handmaiden, _Portia.”_

Ah, Portia. Just hearing her name almost lifted the somber mood from the Countess’s shoulders; she was always a ray of positivity towards her and everyone else in the palace. She kept the place lively, she kept everyone on their toes, and she kept Nadia wrapped around her grubby little fingers. Not that she was repulsed by Portia’s hands, no, in fact she’d quite like to hold them - but gardening does callous hands.

_Maybe she’d like some rings to adorn them with, perhaps? Hmm… that seems quite adequate. A woman like her deserves the finest jewellery Vesuvia can offer._

“She’s _not_ my favourite.”

“Whatever, whatever. She’s been disappearing a lot on the job lately, we’ve- I’ve noticed,” Vulgora continued, “It’s… suspicious. Especially with the whole Goat Moth situation going on. What if she’s actually Goat Moth? What if she’s working with Lucio? We should CRUSH HER!”

Nadia pinched the bridge on her nose in exasperation. “Pontifex Vulgora, we will do no such thing. I will merely have a chat with her, okay?”

“A fools move if you ask me, Countess.”

 _But I never asked,_ Nadia quipped back mentally, knowing she needed to keep cool at least on the outside. In the end, she managed to usher Vulgora out of her room - and forget about the suspicions on Portia entirely. Was it partially due to her subconsciously deciding that Portia could do no wrong? Probably. But for the time being, she blamed it on Goat Moth tiring her out.

Goat Moth. A stupid name for a stupid supervillain, how fitting. He had appeared the day Nadia discovered her Miraculous, when he akumatised Muriel and made him go on a super-sized rampage around the city, ready to destroy whoever killed the peryton in his woods, but also to abide by Goat Moth’s wishes to take her and Tabby Noir’s Miraculous, to be able to wish Count Lucio’s ghost to become a real person again. As far as Nadia was concerned, bringing people up from the dead was impossible. So until they discovered the identity of Lucio’s superfan, the akumatisations of Vesuvians would be a common occurrence.

Well, at least she wasn’t alone. Saving the city as Lady Luck was her escape from being Countess, her only company being Tabby Noir, her right-hand partner, the bushy-haired girl in a cat outfit that was the yin to her yang, wielding the Miraculous of Destruction, while hers was of Creation. They got along like two peas in a pod, if peas had quality banter that involved one pea flirting with the other pea and the other pea rolling her eyes at her antics and rejecting her yet another time, hoping she was just a player and her feelings weren’t genuine.

Suddenly, peas didn’t seem like a suitable metaphor.

Tabby Noir was easily Nadia’s - Lady Luck’s? - best friend, the only person who she didn’t have to put up her Vesuvian Countess act around, the only person who she didn’t have to hold back her sassy retorts from, the only person she felt free around. She trusted Tabby immensely, with her life, even, but damn did that alleycat push her buttons sometimes.

Not like Portia, though. Whenever Portia made jokes or flirty remarks, they made Nadia’s heart flutter - and it almost killed her that she couldn’t express it out of fear of how people would react. What if they accused her of playing favourites amongst the servants? Or if they thought she abused her position of power to get Portia? Or if they saw it as unprofessional? Too many what ifs, and Nadia was not one to put her own desires above those of Vesuvia’s. After all, isn’t that a Countess’ duty?

* * *

Portia flumped face-first into the soft plush of her bed, groaning so loud she could be mistaken for a cow.

Damn had it been a long day, as fighting supervillains created from upset people and evil butterflies was hard enough on its own, but being a palace handmaiden was a full-time job. Portia craved the comfort of being under the covers of her own bed, cuddling Pepi to sleep - but she had work to do before then. She briefly wondered if the Countess would let her rest more if she knew how much time she spent saving Vesuvia as Tabby Noir - but alas, she couldn’t let anyone know about her identity, not even the Countess, or not even her partner, Lady Luck. It’d put them both in far too much danger.

Ah, Lady Luck. Portia had never been so smitten until the majestic, yo-yo-wielding bug lady flew into her life - no pun intended - and took her by storm. When her kwami Pepi told her she’d have a partner, she didn’t know her partner was going to be so… gorgeous? Stunning? Ethereal? Clever? Breathtaking? Everything Portia’s gay little heart could look for in a woman? She was beyond whipped, and she didn’t even know her real identity. But she didn’t need to, after all - Lady Luck proved herself time and time again that she was all of those things. Every akumatisation was a new adventure rather than a new problem with Lady Luck around, and it was a pleasant escape from the hustle and bustle of palace life.

Oh how she wished she could blab all about it. It was the most exciting thing in Portia’s life, and it almost killed her to stay quiet - the only person who knew who her as both Portia and Tabby Noir was Asra, who she first went to for advice about the Miraculous, and ended up being the Guardian of them. No wonder he seemed so smug, turning around in his hair and saying “We’ve been expecting you,” while stroking a curled-up Faust in his lap ominously.

She’s tried a dozen times asking Asra who Lady Luck was, but he didn’t budge, determined on the importance of secret identities. Portia thought it was bullshit. She didn’t have an almighty wish worth using the combined power of the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous on, she just wanted the hand in marriage of her lady, was that too much to ask?

Apparently so.

* * *

It was only a few days later when the next villain appeared.

An akuma had gotten to one of Nadia’s visiting sisters, Navra, and now a wolf-like creature ten times the size of any wolf Portia’d seen, prowled around the streets of Vesuvia, causing havoc.

Portia knew she’d be under even more suspicious if she left on duty yet again- but she couldn’t leave her lady to fight that creature alone, no way! If her reputation as a trusted handmaiden was what it took, she’d sacrifice it anyday for her lady, she thought determinedly as she hid in a passage behind a painting and whispered “Pepi, claws out!”

A dazzling smile shone on her face as soon as she caught Lady Luck on the roof of Asra’s magic shop, jumping up and landing next to her.

“Now the feline is on the prowl,” Portia, now Tabby Noir declared, extending her baton into a staff. “Good evening, milady. Come here to fight supervillains often?”

The tall, red-and-black adorned woman just huffed at her antics. “Maybe try your lines when there _isn’t_ a ten-foot-tall wolf creature destroying our city,” she deadpanned, “Come on kitty, we have a mutt to wrangle.”

Tabby Noir could hardly feel bad about Lady Luck’s blatant shutdown of her cheesy flirting; she called her kitty. It wasn’t fair how easy it was to make the poor girl’s heart jump - she was a sucker for when Lady Luck called her kitty. In her head, she could imagine it was a loving pet name.

“Will do, milady!”

Lady Luck tore off across the rooftops, easily locating the villain, Tabby Noir at her tail, until Lady Luck threw her yo-yo at her, the string wrapping around the beast’s neck and pulling her to a halt.

“Oh little Dia, where are you…?” Navra cooed, unphased by the pull on her neck, “And where’s your grubby little handmaiden who ruined everything at, hmm?”

“She’s after the Countess!”

“She’s after Portia!”

They paused after their synchronised exclamations, Lady Luck blushing at her obvious slip up and Tabby Noir just staring at her partner in confusion.

“Portia? Isn’t the Countess of our city more important?”

Lady Luck felt panic rising in her chest as she desperately thought of a cover-up.

“Er, yes, of course! But uh, the Countess, she has guards to protect her, who does the handmaiden have? We must check on her at on-”

She couldn’t even finish her sentence before akumatised Navra bolted down the street, yo-yo still wrapped around her neck, and dragging Lady Luck with her, leaving her to fly through the air with an ungraceful wail.

 _Milady’s so caring and thoughtful, and she was thinking of me- oh right, and she’s being chased by a giant wolf thing. Right, back to business Portia, snap out of it!_ Shaking her head roughly, she launched herself across to the next rooftop in hot pursuit, lunging at the beast with her staff and throwing it down, hard, and landing on her back.

Ah, but Lady Luck was no damsel. That was part of what had Tabby Noir so smitten - she was so capable, too. _Damn, get you a woman._ The lady have managed to pull herself up on top of the wolf-beast, and was pulling on the yo-yo string to control where she was going.

“Any idea where the akuma is?!” Tabby Noir called out, bracing herself as not to fall off the rampaging monster - definitely not the most stable mount.

“She has a collar, it must be in there!” Lady Luck called back, her eyes bright with determination through her mask. Tabby Noir wished she had time to swoon.

“Oh, then this’ll be easy! _Cataclysm!”_

One-handedly pulling herself along the string of Lady Luck’s yo-yo, Tabby Noir carefully approached the collar, before placing her hand on it and watching it fall to dust.

No akuma was released.

“Hahaha, you thought it’d be that simple?” Navra cackled, giant tongue lolling out of her mouth, “Fools! I’ll have your Miraculous in no time once I’m done with these Vesuvian Palace fools, just you try and stop me!”

“Great, we have five minutes,” Tabby Noir grunted in annoyance, glancing at the flashing paw on her ring. “Any ideas, milady?”

“Looks like we’ll need some luck for this one,” Lady Luck declared with a nod, unwrapping her yo-yo and tossing it into the air, _”Lucky charm!”_

Coming crashing down into her hands was a red, black polka-dotted far, with a ton of tiny bugs inside.

Lady Luck stared at the jar, bewildered. “A… jar of bugs? What am I meant to do with this?”

Tabby Noir lit up, “Those aren’t any bugs, milady! Those are fleas! And they’d sure looove all this fur…”

“Oh, you’re right! I hope this mangy old mutt is ready to get itching!”

The two both jumped off to a nearby rooftop, while Lady Luck piffed the jar at Navra with all her might, shattering on impact.

The wolf beast whipped around, then her eyes widened, as she sat down in the middle of the street, itching and scratching with her hind legs. “So… so… itchy…!”

“Her ring, she still has her ring!” Lady Luck noticed instantly, pointing at one of her massive back paws. “We’re gonna need your cataclysm for that. I can’t just break fine Prakran metals!”

“Then buy me some time to transform back - I’ll be back in a jiffy, milady.”

* * *

It was only when the akuma was puritised and the Miraculous Ladybugs had set Vesuvia back to normal that Tabby Noir approached Lady Luck cautiously, hands behind her back.

This was it, she decided. No more beating around the bush, no more lollygagging. Just pure, unfiltered feelings, a sweet rose, and the most genuine kitty eyes she could muster, and all the hope in the world that maybe, just maybe, Lady Luck felt the same about her.

“Hey, milady… you said to try my lines when we weren’t being chased by a villain, right? How about this one-” she extended her arm, revealing a rose. “-Will you go on a date with me?”

The taller woman was taken aback, eyes widening at the romantic gesture. “T-Tabby? That’s… uh, that’s not a cheesy pick up line…”

Her cat ears drooped. “It wasn’t meant to be, milady. I… I genuinely want to spend time with you. As civilians, as superheroines, it doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is that you’re by my side. All that ever matters is you’re by my side - I should’ve been clearer with you far earlier. But, Lady Luck… I’m… I’m in love with you.”

Lady Luck felt her heart drop to her stomach.

“Oh, kitty… I’m so sorry,” she murmured, barely louder than a whisper. She didn’t want to hurt Tabby Noir’s feelings - after all, she was her best friend, her partner in fighting crime, the one person she could be herself with - but she knew what her heart wanted. And the heart of Nadia Satrinava, Lady Luck, wanted none other than her handmaiden Portia. “I’m so, so sorry,” she repeated, “But I already have a girl who owns my heart.”

Funny, how when an akumatised Navra destroyed her cottage and her own home was crushed before her eyes, it didn’t feel half as bad as Lady Luck’s words making her feel like crumbling much like those brick walls. Except this time, the Miraculous Ladybugs wouldn’t fix anything.

“Oh… a-and, that’s okay milady, I’ll um, lay off, I’ll respect your boundaries, er… but if it isn’t too much to ask… may I know who she is?”

Lady Luck took a deep breath, then shook her head.

“Anything that could reveal our identities in any way must be kept secret,” she reminded her. “All you need to know is…. she’s a girl I can’t have. So… that’s why I feel so bad for you. Because I know what it’s like…”

“Then have me instead.”

The words left her lips before she even thought them through, cheeks burning up once she processed what she just said. Even then, she meant every word.

“Have… you… instead…?”

“Have me instead,” Tabby Noir confirmed with a curt nod. “If your love is someone you can’t have, what have you got to lose? Give me a chance, milady. Let me earn your heart, so the girl you long for can’t hurt it any longer.”

It would be the easier option to just accept her offer, Nadia realised. It would be so much easier, and growing up she was told never to go for the easy option. Because the easy option wasn’t the right option, and only hard work cultivated success. Taking the easy route meant she was lazy, scared, not fit to rule - all of these things she’d been told since she was a mere child.

And perhaps it was all of those things that made her decide to do exactly that.

The smallest, most graceful of smiles pulled at the corners of her lips.

“Okay.”

“O-Okay?”

Lady Luck nodded, laughing.

_”Okay.”_

* * *

Portia was over the moon, to say the least.

The girl had been inviting Lady Luck to as many dates as she had time for, usually at night, sacrificing both of their sleep, but neither of them seemed to complain - much to Portia’s surprise. She expected Lady Luck would grumble or at least make a sarcastic jab at Portia’s tendency to be a night owl, but it turned out she was quite the night owl herself. It was eye-opening, learning more about the ever mysterious Lady Luck as a person, rather than just a superheroine of Vesuvia, and she found that even Lady Luck was enjoying herself - she seemed to have no qualms watching Vesuvia every night from a new rooftop, gazing down at how the lights shimmered and flickered under the moon.

When they were way up here, without a care in the world, it almost felt like life was… easy.

But of course, it couldn’t stay that way.

Nadia was running out of excuses for her constant disappearances to sneak out and meet Tabby Noir, as the Countess was a public figure, the whole palace found out quickly if she was missing for long and wasn’t careful to cover her tracks - which she’d been getting increasingly sloppy at the more she started to see her partner Tabby Noir in a new, rejuvenating light. She got more exciting for the night time, less careful at making excuses - and now, the entire palace was on high alert.

Tabby Noir stopped planning as many dates, too.

Something about work life becoming more hectic, and getting really busy. Nadia was disappointed at first; she was just starting to think of Tabby Noir as more than a friend after all this time, but she figured that if Tabby Noir could wait as long as she’d waited for her to accept her affection, Nadia could wait a little while.

Or not.

Impatient, Nadia found herself lying about taking a shower then scurrying off to one of the palace’s many secret passageways, desperate to transform into her more carefree persona and get some fresh air. Ever since people started to notice her disappearances more, it was getting harder and harder to leave the palace at all - and for once, she didn’t need _people_ around her! Except maybe Tabby Noir. That was company she would accept.

What she didn’t expect, was that Portia had the same idea.

“U-Uh, Portia… why are you here in one of the castle’s secret corridors…?”

Portia didn’t miss a beat, remarking, “I could ask you the same thing, Countess.”

Nadia couldn’t help the soft smile that appeared on her face in the dimly-lit tunnel. Was her personality always this endearing?

“A Countess can roam her castle as she pleases, Portia. What brings a handmaiden here, however… unknown.”

Portia pouted, averting her gaze. “W-Well, I just thought these passages were so cool, and thought hey, I might go through one as a shortcut to get back to my cottage…”

“Which is on the _other_ side of the castle?”

_Damn, she’s good._

Nadia only laughed. “I can escort you a quicker way through the passages, if you’d like. Just don’t go disappearing on me, okay?”

“Pfft, you already do that enough for the two of us, Countess.”

* * *

As Lady Luck sat atop the palace rooftop, she could just imagine Tabby Noir’s presence next to her.

She had originally gone up there as it was the most visible place in Vesuvia, so surely Tabby Noir would be able to see her from there and go pay a visit - but it seemed that the cat was determined to stay in the shadows that night.

What Nadia didn’t know, was that same cat staring up at her from her cottage window, sighing to herself - or, to Pepi.

“She’s so beautiful, Pepi,” Portia groaned, “Why is she so beautiful? And so mysterious, too. I can’t even tell what she thinks of me anymore - are these dates working, or do I just look like an idiot in front of her?”

The floating cat-kwami just shrugged, chucking a wedge of cheese in her mouth. “Peep! I dunno, Portia. Maybe you should just ask her…?”

“Ask her?! And risk ruining everything I’ve been building up since she gave me this chance, making everything awkward? No way!”

There was a knock at the door, causing Pepi to dart away into hiding.

“Who is it?!”

“...Just a friendly neighborhood ladybug.”

Portia’s jaw almost hit the floor, desperately fumbling to open the door, staring at her crush in amazement, but feeling utterly ridiculous in her pajamas.

“Lady- Lady Luck?!” She stammered, eyes wide as saucers.

Lady Luck had only ever interacted with Portia as the civilian very few times - and each time, she was given a compliment that made her stay awake at night thinking of her for days. Why couldn’t Tabby Noir get one of those cute compliments? Portia was just some random Vesuvian she saved! At least, she thought that was the case.

But seeing her at ass o’clock at night, standing in her doorway? Well, that was new.

“Er, I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, I just, uh- I wanted to check on you, y’know… being targeted by an akumatised villain must’ve been quite the scare.”

Portia beamed. “Nothing to be afraid of when you’re around, milady.”

“Milady?”

The girl froze, realising what she had just said, tensing up and hastily racking her brains for an excuse. Anything would work, anything to keep her identity safe-

“My Lady Luck, I mean, sorry just got lazy with words haha, uh, well you’re not mine, but more like our, our as in Vesuvia’s, uh, not that you _belong_ to us but you just-”

“Tabby Noir?”

Portia swallowed thickly. _Ahaha. I’m in danger._

The last thing Portia expected her to do, was burst out laughing.

“Portia! Out of all people to be my partner in fighting crime, Tabby Noir, it was Portia, the one I wanted all this time…”

“The one you fucking _what?!”_

“...my trusty handmaiden.”

Gears were turning in Portia’s head slowly as she put two and two together, the pieces clicking into place, but still, when Lady Luck detransformed in front of her to reveal Countess Nadia, she felt like her eyes were about to pop out of her head.

“C-Countess Nadia?! _You’re_ Lady Luck?!”

Nadia nodded shyly, pink tinging her cheeks. “Er, yes, that’s… that’s me. Mhm.”

The ginger-haired girl blinked twice in disbelief.

“You’re… Lady Luck. Countess Nadia.”

“Yes, I... believe we already established that.”

“Princess Nadia Satrinava of Prakra, Countess of Vesuvia.”

“Yes, that’s me again-”

“Is Lady Luck.”

“Uh, yes, I am-”

 _”Countess Nadia fucking Satrinava, my Countess and my boss,_ is Lady Luck.”

Nadia nodded awkwardly. “Yes.”

Portia stumbled backward in shock, almost knocking over something off a shelf if it wasn’t for Nadia grabbing her by the waist to steady her, intense red irises locking with hers, “Hey, hey. Are you okay?”

She blinked again, taking a shaky breath. “Y-Yes, that’s me. I mean- I am. I’m just, uh, shocked, cause y'know, I never… thought of you that way, Countess-”

“Drop the formalities, please? You’re the only person who ever did, kitty.”

Portia felt her words get caught up in her throat. “-C-Cause you’re like, woah, the _Countess,_ I kinda just ruled out outta my league since day once, y’know, cause I’m just the handmaiden, but as Tabby Noir, I was a superheroine! So I fell for La- for you, cause y’know, it was fair ground, and like, wow, how do you have time to do all that? Being Countess and Lady Luck - that actually explains all the disappearances, actually, uh, did you know you’re very pretty when you stare into my eyes like that? It’s actually kind of intimidating. Pretty, but intimidating. Intimidatingly prett-”

Nadia cut off her rambling by swooping in and capturing her lips in hers.

It didn’t feel like fireworks, like they’d always been told in stories. It didn’t feel like all the pieces of the puzzle had finally come together, or any of the poetic metaphors they’d been fed for as long as they could remember. But it sure felt good, great, even, enough for the two of them to want to do it again, and again, and again. And again. It only took mere moments for the two of them to get lost in the kiss, Portia ending up being pressed against her cottage door as Nadia made sure that no inch of her face was left untouched. She peppered kisses along her forehead, cheekbones, her nose, down her jaw and back to her lips before she finally pulled away, breathless.

“Milady?” Portia whispered, slightly out of breath and staring up at Nadia with moonlit eyes.

“Yes, kitty?”

“Will you… be m-”

“Yes.”

She couldn’t help but snort, which surprised Nadia a little.

“I wasn’t going to ask if you’d be my girlfriend, I was going to trick you and end up saying will you be my lucky charm, but uh-”

“I’ll be both. Problem solved.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

_”Okay.”_


End file.
